I just received a text message from my ex boyfriend asking me, why I had animosity towards him. It’s an interesting situation, because I do feel animosity, but for ONE reason.
I’m over joyed with the fact we broke up, we had a good friendship and good relationship, my best one yet. He is a Christian, but not my same religion. So truth wise, we had different views, but believed in the same God. He was the one that talked about someday getting married to me, and I would shrug it off. He was always the one to tell me he loved me, and would go out of his way to do things for me. After a while in the relationship, he did nothing for me, he would only talk to me when he needed or wanted something and was pretty much taking me for granted. I was giving him so much, but never getting anything back. I gave him every part of me, and a year of my life to him. Then reality hit, and we both got full time jobs and hardly ever saw each other.
One night, I texted him telling him I missed him, and he told me we should go on a date. THEN the conversation totally changed into the fact that we needed to take a break. (I’m not a break kind of girl, either you’re in it or you can take a hike) and I told him that. It really shows how much someone cares about you, when they are about to lose you. He chose to break up with me.
I was worth a text message to him. My body was worth a text message. My soul was worth a text message. I was worth a text message to him.
I’m completely glad we broke up. I had a change of heart, and have never been so close to God. I learned about relationships and KNOW WHAT I WANT AND DESERVE. It took a heartbreak for God to completely fill my heart.
To my ex boyfriend, I was a worth a text message. To God, I’m worth everything.
Laying in his arms, I feel complete. I feel safe. I feel unconditionally loved. I lie there in his bed, my leg wrapped around his, my arm across his shoulders, and my other arm tucked under his head, while running my fingers through his hair. My face right up against his, listening to every breath he breathes. He traces his fingers across the spine of my back, hitting every spot that makes me squirm. I tug his hair and put my lips up against his, and I get that feeling of never wanting this to end, that “I want to be with you, you only” feeling. That moment is where your heart is the most vulnerable, because attachment has set in, but in that moment is the beautiful part of life, because no one can take that memory from you, you will always remember his love, and no matter what happens, you fell in love, you both did, and love is always worth it, and that moment is never regrettable…. We part lips, and our faces so close together, our heart racing for each other; he moves his head up and kisses my forehead. A light, simple kiss that is more powerful than anything this world has to offer. That kiss means more to me, than anything, because it’s that kiss of “Ive finally found you.” He slowly puts his head near my ear and whispers. He tells me there, in that moment, he’s in love with me. If you don’t believe in love, wait for this moment. This moment isn’t with just anyone, it’s the one for you. Don’t give up on love, because love eventually finds us all, and one day we all get this moment.
For every person that is still a virgin, I have to give it to you, that is something to be proud of not embarrassed about. Sometimes Temptation gets the best of us, we let it control us. & that’s why our purity, innocence gets lost. It’s not something to be ashamed of either, you made that decision & if it was because you wanted it, that’s not something to regret. I wish I could tell every young girl how sex changes everything… That’s why you should wait. It complicates relationships not only for the person your intimate with but with other people, like your parents, or close relationships. It seems like such a simple non complicated decision to make at the time, but the consequences lasts a lifetime. You realize how close that your relationship gets with that person, which is a good thing, but sometimes it’s not.. Because you may still be attached if they leave. I don’t regret who I’ve had sex with, I don’t regret how old I was. I don’t regret it, because my life wouldn’t be the same if I didn’t make that decision. It’s a way to become close with someone, to make a relationship stronger. It’s not meant for just fun… So please, if your going to make a that decision it’s to grow closer with someone; not for your own personal benefit.. You may end up hurting someone if you don’t intend to be with them. Sex changes everything.
I believe in this shit they call love. I also believe in lust. The thing is they are suppose to be intermittent. But all too often lust surpasses love, and instead of lasting forever it lasts until they get bored. I believe that lust can develop into love, but it’s rare. Love is rare, Lust isn’t. My problem is I love too quickly. & I lust too often. So in the end, I’m the one that gets hurt. I fall in to lust & love. & It takes me forever to get back up. So what I’m trying to say is, love me first, then lust me later. I want to capture your attention, with your heart not your penis. I want something rare and special. I want something real.